


the grind

by ninemoons42



Series: Dragon Effect - Annika [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Mass Effect
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Holding Hands, Introspection, Lack of Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 19:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5017411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninemoons42/pseuds/ninemoons42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Annika completes a mission successfully. But she’s gotten to the point when victory has almost lost its savor. What can Cullen say or do to help?</p>
            </blockquote>





	the grind

Sitting in the space-hum silence of his quarters, wondering how he was going to spend another sleepless night. The bookseller he used to visit on the Citadel had closed up shop and donated her entire stock to the refugees huddling within the Wards, and had gone into one of the triage stations –- so reading wasn’t on the agenda tonight. He’d already read all the books the _Normandy_ carried around –- even some of the manuals Liara and Tali and Mordin left scattered around in their wake –- and alcohol was the last thing on his mind, and so he was left nursing a headache and sitting on the cold floor –-

His omni-tool pinged at him and the orange glow filled the cramped bunk as he read the single scrolling line that came up on its display:

_Starboard Observation Lounge_

A message from the Commander.

No, from Annika.

He needed to sleep and needed to clear his mind. Going to the Commander now would do precisely neither of those things. 

But he couldn’t _not_ go.

So he pulled his clothes back on and padded out into the cool quiet corridors, and he saw no one as he headed to his destination, not even EDI, whom he knew tended to patrol the ship when everyone else was supposed to be sleeping.

The lounge door hissed softly open. The room was illuminated in starlight and nebula-color and that was it -– he only knew where _she_ was because this had somehow turned into a routine, the two of them spending time in shadowed places –- 

Clink of glass against the floor. Cullen didn’t precisely disapprove, but he couldn’t approve either. He kept his mouth shut about it and shook his head when she offered him a tiny thimble of a glass.

“I would have thought,” he murmured, “that you actually _won_ just now. You saved those kids and you got to get in that mech. Used Cerberus’s own guns against them.”

“We won. Yeah. But –- ” He watched Annika shudder as she poured from the squat bottle next to her feet and threw the shot back. “I can’t sleep for all the _what-ifs_ and _what-could-have-beens_. You maybe know something about that.”

“Why am I up this late again?” Cullen asked, rhetorically.

“Yeah. That.” A pause. They passed through and beneath the spreading gossamer wings of blue-green stellar remnants. “I hate wars. Been through too many of them. Never really know what I’m doing. Are we going to survive any of this? What if we get shot down in the next hour? What if the Reapers kick all our asses?”

“What if we live?”

Her narrowed eyes. Pain in the lines of her face. Red hair, limp and lank, clinging to her cheeks. “Hope. You have it and I don’t –- ”

“Actually, no, I don’t have it either,” Cullen interrupted. “But I know someone who makes me think that hope might still exist.”

“Let me know when you find them.”

He almost laughed. Instead, he said, “Look in a mirror. Or the bottom of your glass.”

“Me. Right.” Annika’s laugh was bitter and brief. “Me with these nightmares of you burning up and I can’t do anything to save you.”

“And me hoping you just come back every time.”

A cool touch to his wrist. He didn’t hesitate. He took her hand. She held on desperately to him, and he clung to her.

**Author's Note:**

> I am also on [tumblr](http://ninemoons42.tumblr.com/) and my Dragon Age: Inquisition blog is [here](http://ninemoons42-inquisition.tumblr.com/).


End file.
